Al’s Article

By Al D’Angelo


Thought you would enjoy a little humor


We received about 2 inches of snow yesterday and

8:00 am:  I made a snowman.

8:10 am:  A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snowwoman.

8:15 am:  So, I made a snowwoman.

8:17:  My feminist neighbor complained about the snow-woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.

8:20 am:  The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 am:  The transgender man … woman … person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 am:  The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.

8:28 am:  I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 am:  I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 am:  Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson.

8:39 am:  The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snowwoman be completely covered.

8:40 am:  The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 am:  The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snowwoman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 am:  The ‘council on equality’ officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 am:  The TV news crew from ABC showed up.  I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen. I replied “Snowballs” and am now a sexist.

9:00 am:  I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 am:  I was asked if I have any accomplices.  My children were taken by social services.

9:29 am:  Far-left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.

9:45 am:  The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 am:  I cried into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.

Moral:  There isn’t a moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email